Overall my
experience volunteering with world relief was a great one. I enjoyed getting to
know the family we were assigned and I’m glad that I had this opportunity
because I think it was a great learning experience. I learned many knew things
about the culture of this family and it has really opened my eyes to the
differences between my culture and theirs. My main goal in the beginning was to
have them learn something from me, even if it was something small and I think
that we accomplished this. I wanted this experience to be a good one for them
and I wanted them to take away something from me, Kaelin, and Hailey that they
might not have gotten from going to actual ESL tutors. At the end of our
observations hours I feel like we became friends with the family and we taught
them how to make cookies and had a really fun time with them.
During my observation hours I noticed many reoccurring
themes throughout the experience volunteering with world relief. One very broad
theme was the way that my family communicated. When we went there for the first
time the family was obviously a little shy, but the type of communication that
we participated in was mainly actional. There was a lot of us asking questions
and getting no response or just blank stares. However, as the visits went on
the communication developed into a more transactional view with all members of
the family. The last time we went to their house I could easily ask any of them
a question and I would get a response or another question to clarify what I had
just asked. They made more attempts to get our questions right as well; instead
of shrugging their shoulders or saying “I don’t know”, they attempted to get it
right. Another theme that goes along with this is the idea of moving from the
impersonal to the personal. Otherwise known as the social penetration theory, I
could definitely sense that there was more self-disclosure between us and them.
Language was still a really large barrier and it was hard to maintain
reciprocity with them when we didn’t exactly understand everything they were
saying. We didn’t get really close with the family because we only spent a
little time with them; however, the mom, Tahgreed, did start telling us a lot
about her baby and the doctors’ appointments that she had coming up and Baneen
started showing us the stuff she works on in school and the dad really opened
up a lot because in the beginning he really didn’t talk to us at all.
Another big theme I noticed was the way the family was
adjusting to living life in America. When I first met them I think they were
moving into the initial adjustment phase of culture shock. They seemed like
they were just getting used to living here and they didn’t exactly know
everything and at times I could tell they felt uncomfortable around us. When
the translator came to their house the first time we were there I could tell
that Saad, the dad, just felt so much more comfortable. The more we went the
more I noticed that they were adapting to the American life style, but not necessarily
assimilating to it. They put an American flag on their wall and a map of the
United States as well and the last time I went to their house I noticed that
they had decorations for Easter, but I’m not exactly sure if they celebrate it.
This shows me that they are trying to accommodate to the American culture and
starting to accept the traditions that we have while still maintain their own.
One other theme that I thought was relevant to my
experience at world relief was nonverbal codes. This played a huge role in our
time with the Abdulhasan family because there was such a gap in the languages
that we spoke and none of the words in our language were even remotely similar
to theirs. Nonverbal codes such as paralinguistics and kinesics were very
important in the way that we communicated with this family. When having a
conversation with them it was very important that we maintained good eye
contact with them and made sure that what we were saying matched with the
physical gestures we made. When we first volunteered with the family, the
parents didn’t really speak any English, they knew how to say “hi”, but they
didn’t know what “how are you meant”. So when we said “hi, how are you” we
usually had a really happy look on our face and they smiled and nodded back. I
remember one time we went to observe and Saad was trying to tell us that they
were having an open house and when we asked him if we wanted to leave we had to
use a lot of hand gestures and motions pointing to the door because he didn’t
understand what we were trying to ask him. I would have thought that as the
family learned more English we wouldn’t have to use as many hand gestures, but
we still used them a lot our last visit. Paralinguistics didn’t play as big of
a role as kinesics did because although our tone of voice and the way we said
things did make it easier to understand if we were asking a question or if we
were happy or interested, but because of the language barrier it still didn’t
get us closer to understand what they were saying or vice versa.
This experience has definitely shaped my future
interpersonal interactions not only with people of other cultures but with
people of my own culture as well. It has taught me to have patience when I’m
teaching something to someone or explaining something. I also have a new found appreciation and
admiration for families who leave their home countries and start over in a new
one. I know that it’s a hard thing to do, but the family I observed really took
the whole change in a great way and they still had time to laugh at each
other’s mistakes and I can infer that this whole experience has brought them closer
together as a family. I am really happy to know that I could have helped them
even though it was just a little bit. I also know now that the words I say
aren’t always what communication is about. It’s about the context and the way
it’s said and how you say it and the gestures you use to express what you want
to say. I also learned that everyone is a different type of communicator based
on their personality and you have to pay attention to this when you are getting
into relationships with people because knowing how they communicate will help
you better understand what they are trying to say. interpersonal communication
is a lot more complicated that I originally thought and I think an experience
like this one is a great way to better understand not only another culture, but
to better understand how to communicate.
